The Case of the Severed Head
by IrenaAdler
Summary: 14part drabble series set in my slash verse. ...Humor/Family... Charlie and Colby find a decapitated body. Don investigates and Nena is the prime suspect. Larry and Ray-Ray come to his aid. 14, There's one more surprise in the case.
1. The Case of the Wounded Head

**The Case of the Wounded Head—**

"Blunt force trauma," Charlie pronounced.

"No doubt," Colby agreed. "The whole side of her head is bashed in."

"Nasty. I could mathematically extrapolate a shape from the indentation."

"I'm guessing a baseball bat."

"Classic blunt instrument," Charlie said wryly. "Are there any wood slivers in the wound? Forensics can do amazing things with wood 'fingerprinting' these days, though you know I hate actual fingerprinting."

"We would just need enough to match it to something owned by a suspect."

Charlie nodded. "Do you think the head wound was the cause of death or the …"

"Decapitation?" Colby completed, then shrugged. "Hard to say. I'd guess they happened close together."

"How do you think her head was … removed? That might help us."

"Hmm," Colby said. "Some kind of saw, perhaps? Or hammer and chisel?"

Charlie grimaced. "I think a saw is more likely."

"True. But you know, it would be hard to both hold the body and saw so maybe we should be looking for a couple of people."

"You may be right." Charlie pondered the mutilated head. "Why do you think the hair was cut off? Some kind of ritual or fetish?"

Colby shook his head. "Then it would be shaved or something. This was just hacked off with scissors. Maybe it was in the way?"

"Of the saw?"

"Yeah. Or maybe they saved the hair as a trophy."

"That would be foolish, since it would tie the murderers directly to the crime."

"Just because it's stupid, doesn't mean criminals won't do it, believe me."

"We haven't even addressed motive–"

"There it is!" Nena said, grabbing the doll's head from Colby. "Now Grandpa and me can play baseball!"

Nena raced away and Colby and Charlie watched her go.

"Kids these days," Charlie said sadly. "Completely numb to violence."


	2. Continuing Mystery of the Severed Head

A/N: Sequel to The Case of the Wounded Head

* * *

**The Continuing Mystery of the Severed Head—**

When Don came around the corner of his family's house, it took a second to process what he saw in the backyard. In fact, it took him several seconds as his mind – capable of evaluating a hostage situation in an instant – stuttered as he tried to figure out why his niece was batting at a small head flying through the air.

Swinging wildly, Nena missed the head with a grunt. She looked up and saw Don before he could speak.

"Uncle Don!" she called. "Come pitch to me. Grandpa's getting tired!"

Don looked across the lawn to see his red-faced father holding a large wicker basket.

Don came over to Nena. "What kind of game is this?"

Nena gave him a disgusted look. "Baseball!"

Leaning over, Don picked up the little head. It was dirty and battered, but looked like it had once belonged to a blond-haired doll. "Why don't you use a baseball?"

"Lost it."

"Or tennis balls?"

"Koota chewed them all."

Don didn't bother to ask why the neighbor's dog didn't have his own tennis balls to chew. "What about that softball I gave you?"

"I cut open the stitches."

"You …"

"To see what was inside."

Don chuckled. He remembered his own first baseball dissection and Charlie had ruined countless toys doing the same thing. Don hefted the doll's head in his hand. It was about the right size but too light and soft.

"But didn't you like your doll?"

Nena shrugged. "I've lots of dolls. Didn't have a baseball."

"Oh …" _Uncle Don can fix that!_ Don turned around and hurried to his car. When he came back, he handed Nena a brand-new baseball.

"Thanks!" She set it on the ground and returned to her doll head.

"But what about the baseball?"

"Bonnie's head goes farther!"


	3. The Investigation into the Blunt Weapon

**The Investigation into the Blunt Weapon—**

"At least let me teach you to bat right," Don said, waving to his father to tell him that he was taking over as Nena's teammate, then reached for Nena's bat. It looked like it had been used to subdue a lawn mower.

"What have you been doing?" he demanded, dismayed at the gouges and dents all up and down its length.

"Batting things." Nena shrugged.

Don waved his hand in a 'continue' motion. "Like?"

"Baseballs, tennis balls, beach balls, Nerf balls …"

"And?"

Nena looked chagrined for the first time. "Lego spaceships."

"Lego …" Don stared at her, then at the bat. That would explain the dents. "Don't they … shatter when you hit them?"

Nena brightened. "Not if you glue them real good!"

"Oh," Don said weakly. That's why Nena always needed more Legos. "And you're launching these spaceships …"

"Zach and me," Nena said, referring to a neighborhood boy. "We've figured out tra-ject-ory, we're just having trouble with gravity and, uh, force. So they mostly end up, um …"

"Where?"

Nena mumbled, "Mr. Santos's backyard."

Don grimaced. Every neighborhood had a grumpy old man and Mr. Santos was theirs. At least his backyard was so overgrown with weeds that he wouldn't notice the invaders. _Probably._

Shaking his head, Don took the bat and set it on his shoulder. "Okay, so you want to put your hands closer together and keep your elbows up." He demonstrated. "Then follow through on the swing."

He took the doll's head from Nena and tossed it up in the air. When it came down, he swung, a nice clean good-feeling swing, and the plastic head went sailing over the trees, past Mr. Santos's yard and out of sight. _Sweet!_

"Uncle Don," Nena said with wide eyes. "You're totally our new Legos launcher!"


	4. The Tactics of the Investigator

**The Tactics of the Investigator—**

Don stared down at his adoring niece and realized, too late, that he'd been encouraging her. "Uh, honey, Legos aren't for launching."

"Lego spaceships are!" Nena responded.

"No, not even spaceships."

"But I'm making them to launch them, so they are," Nena said. Her chin stuck out, looking like her father, Colby, who could be world-class stubborn.

Don backpedaled. "Okay, I'll grant you that." He thought hastily. "But a baseball is aerodynamically designed to fly, the shape cuts down on air drag. Do you know about air drag?"

"Of course!" Nena said, but by the way her lower lip protruded, she'd say that regardless.

Don checked his watch. There was time before dinner. "How about we go to the batting cages? They have kid cages."

Nena eyed him. The word 'cage' probably didn't sound too promising. "What's that?"

"Batting cages have machines that throw baseballs and you can hit them as far as you want."

"In a cage?"

"They have protection on three sides so you don't hit other people."

"The machine throws baseballs?"

"Yep," Don said, putting extra enthusiasm into his voice. "It's a lot of fun, the machine throws the balls at whatever speed or pitch you want and you just swing your bat. No need for Grandpa to go get the ball and throw it every time." He leaned closer to her. "And they're a lot better throwers."

Nena responded to his teasing smile and confided, "He's not very good."

"He never was," Don said with a grin. "And the other great thing about batting cages is that the machine has hundreds of balls and it just throws one after another."

"Wow, hundreds?" Nena gasped. She dropped the bat and ran towards the house, calling out, "Grandpa! Come to the cages and bring a really big basket!"


	5. The Suspect and the Grapefruit Herring

**The Suspect and the Grapefruit Herring –**

After Don convinced Nena that Alan didn't need to be there to catch baseballs and convinced Alan that Nena would be safe with a machine flinging baseballs at her, Don and Nena arrived at the batting cages.

For a moment, they just stood outside and watched the balls flying off the bats.

"Do they call a timeout," Nena asked. "And everyone goes and picks the baseballs up?"

"No, they have a machine, like a little bulldozer, that drives around and scoops up the balls."

"Like the Z-machine at a hockey game?"

Don chuckled. "Kinda like a Zamboni. A grass Zamboni."

Laughing, Nena grabbed Don's hand and tugged him towards the cages.

Don paid for a kid's cage and – after checking the safety features as he'd promised Alan – tried to teach Nena how to correctly swing her bat. After a while, both of them getting a little frustrated, Don called a break and they shared a soda.

"Are there machines that throw tennis balls?" Nena asked.

"Yup." Don took a sip of soda. "Softball, too. Table tennis, handball. Maybe volleyball, soccer, and basketball, too."

"Grapefruit?"

Don coughed on a swallow that went down wrong. "What?"

"Grapefruit! For grapefruitball!"

"What's that?"

"Tomatoes are too squishy and lemons fly funny. You throw the grapefruit at someone and they try to catch it or run away. If it hits you, you lose, but if you catch it and it doesn't bust, you can throw it back."

"Uh," Don said. "Where do you play grapefruitball?"

"Everywhere!" Nena grinned. "Jumping over fences and running through yards is the best part!"

Don frowned. He'd bet that game was played under Alan's watch. Don really needed to talk with him about appropriate play.

Nena quickly cleared her throat. "Uh, Uncle Don, I need more help on my swing!"


	6. The Motive but not the Means

**The Motive But Not the Means --**

Nena and Don returned to the kid's batting cage and worked on Nena's swing until she was connecting with the baseballs. Don felt like a proud papa when a ball sailed out in a perfect arc.

Nena smiled with relief at his cheers and Don agreed that was enough for now.

Don signed in for his usual cage and stretched out his shoulders. He made sure that Nena was well-protected behind the fencing, then set the machine to give him big fat heat.

_Thwack._ The ball came cleanly off the bat and shot into the late afternoon sky.

Nena gasped and Don grinned to himself. Don hit a few more easy balls, then set the machine to mix it up a little and got to work. He glanced back regularly to make sure Nena was still there, but it took a few moments for him to realize that her smile had turned to a frown. He shut off the machine.

"Something wrong, honey?"

"It'll never make it," she said.

"Won't make what?"

"The ball's never going to make it to space."

Don blinked. "That's true, it's not designed to, uh, go into space, but, uh, travel forward and out of the ballpark."

"Oh," Nena frowned.

Don gathered his things and took Nena to a bench outside the cage. "Hitting a ball, or anything, makes it fly in the direction of the bat angle, usually straight ahead. You need something that goes up. Like a rocket."

"Okay." Nena's smile returned. "Let's do that!"

"Uh, what?"

"A rocket!"

"No, it's almost dinner time. Go wash your hands then we'll go home."

"Tomorrow?"

"Maybe," Don said with a plastered-on smile. As soon as Nena disappeared into the bathroom, Don pulled out his phone and quickly dialed.

"Larry," Don whispered. "I need your help!"


	7. Investigator and the Outside Consultant

**The Investigator and the Outside Consultant –**

"Larry, I need your help!"

"Agent Eppes, what can I do for you today?"

"It's actually 'Uncle Don' that needs your help."

"Oh? Is everything alright with your adoptive niece?"

"I need a rocket, Larry."

"Um … Don, you do realize that I don't actually _own_ the space shuttle?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"In fact, I was merely a passenger. The pilot was a remarkably steady-handed woman named Amelia Paches. We had several interesting conversations concerning the physics and the metaphysics of 'piercing' the atmosphere of Earth."

"Larry, I meant a model rocket. How high do they get?"

"I imagine that would depend on the means of propulsion and other factors."

"You mean you – Nena, just head to the car, I'll be right behind you – you mean you don't do model rockets?"

"Not since I was a small child. I've been more interested in aspects of astrophysics that could not be tested with cardboard and firecrackers."

"I need firecrackers?"

"I don't think so, for a rocket. A firecracker's energy is expended omni-directionally and probably wouldn't give you the desired thrust."

"It needs to go high. Do I just go to a hobby store?"

"I doubt that an off-the-shelf purchase would give you significant altitude."

"Larry, man, I need a rocket!"

"May I ask the nature of the urgency of this situation?"

"Nena thinks I launched a doll's head into space."

"I must not have heard you correctly. A _doll's_ head?"

"Yeah, but I just hit it out of sight and if I don't find a way to stop her from launching the Lego spaceships now that I know about them, it's going to be my fault somehow."

"Lego spaceships?"

"Please, Larry, can you help me? My 'cool uncle' credentials are on the line!"

"Agent Eppes, I shall do my utmost."


	8. Investigator Confronts CoConspirator

**The Investigator Confronts the Co-Conspirator—**

"Dad," Don said. "Do you know that Nena is throwing grapefruit at people?"

Alan looked up from his newspaper and smiled at him. He was sitting on the front room couch, just where Don had hoped to find him when he'd gotten home with Nena from the batting cages. Don had sent Nena up to get ready for dinner, then advanced on his father.

"Oh, yes," Alan said easily. "Grapefruitball."

"You _know_ about it?"

"Of course! I'd join in if I wasn't so old and slow."

"But," Don sputtered. "She's throwing grapefruit at people!"

Alan laughed, possibly more at his expression than at his question. "It's just grapefruit from the Mooth's old tree. It's not that hard. And it hasn't been edible since before you were born."

"But … she's _throwing_ it at people!"

"Not just random people, other kids that are playing the game. They throw it at her, too."

"And you think this is _okay_?"

Alan put down his paper and shook his head at him, grinning. "Oh, how quickly you forget! You and your friends played quite a similar game."

"I never threw fruit at my friends!"

"No, as I recall, it was water balloons. And you'd fling them at hard as you could at each other. While running all over the neighborhood, screaming and yelling."

Don looked uneasily at him, vague recollections stirring.

"That's different."

"Oh?"

"It was a different time back then!"

"It certainly was," Alan said with a smile. "We changed the world."

"I meant, it was a lot safer then."

"You mean for grapefruit?"

Don rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I do?"

Don growled in frustration and was actually relieved to hear the call for dinner.

* * *

As Don stalked away, Alan chuckled and wondered if he had any water balloons.


	9. Unexpected CounterMeasure

**The Unexpected Counter-Measure—**

"Did Nena enjoy the batting cages?" Colby asked.

Don, Colby, and Charlie were sitting on the porch after dinner, hoping for a breeze to break up the stifling evening.

Don swallowed some beer. His stomach was still debating Colby's tuna casserole. Everything Colby cooked seemed to be a casserole or contain Cream of Mushroom Soup – or both. _I guess you cook what you were raised on._ However, Don wasn't about to turn down free food when Will was out of town.

"Yeah," he answered at last. "Especially when she started regularly hitting."

Charlie asked, "Did you do some hitting, too?"

"Yep, I think she enjoyed watching."

"I always did," Charlie replied. "Dad would have to drag me away."

"By the way," Colby asked. "Where _is_ Alan?"

Charlie said, "He went to the library."

"The library?" Don scoffed.

"Probably sneaking off to see some woman." Charlie chuckled. "So we won't quiz him about it."

"He gets to quiz us! Or did, at least."

"Now, he just—"

"Surprise!" Nena yelled and Don turned just in time to see a red water balloon sailing through the air. It landed with a _sploosh_ across his chest and he teetered backwards.

"Hey!" Don complained. He looked at Colby and Charlie for aid but they were just laughing.

Don jumped out of his chair. "I'll get you!"

Shrieking, Nena ran back into the house. Don raced after her, then came to a stop in the kitchen. One counter was filled with ready water balloons. Alan's 'disappearance' suddenly made sense.

Nena peered back around the kitchen door and Don made a 'time-out' sign. Picking up two balloons, he gestured back towards the porch. Nena grinned and nodded and picked up two more balloons herself.

With a double whoop, Nena and Don burst out the back door.


	10. Investigator turns to the Professional

**The Investigator Turns to the Professional—**

On a cool Saturday morning, a small crowd gathered at the old airfield. Nine adults – Alan, Charlie, Colby, Will, Don, Larry, Megan, David and Matt – and one child – Nena –formed a half-circle around another adult, though at a respectful distance.

"It is fortuitous that Dr. Galuski turned out to be a model rocket enthusiast," Larry said to Don. "With a launch window already prepared for this weekend."

"Yeah," Don agreed. "Thanks for finding that out."

"You are most welcome. I find myself harkening back to my childhood in the anticipation."

Don gave him a distracted nod, then went over to Ray-Ray, who was working on a 'model rocket' almost as tall as he was.

"Do you have a license to drive this thing?" Don asked with a nervous laugh.

"Actually, yeah," Ray-Ray chuckled. "You can't just buy this at a toy store. You need to be certified. I'm Level 3 certified, top level."

Don looked around the airfield. There were many people and rockets, but none as large as Ray-Ray's.

"It's kinda big," Don said.

Ray-Ray laughed. "You bet! This beauty only has an 'I' motor, but should fly straight and true and reach almost a mile high." He smiled fondly at the blue and yellow-checkered rocket. "The fin design is my own."

"Very impressive," Don agreed.

Ray-Ray straightened up. "Okay, set! Now we'll need to get everybody to a safe distance—"

"Wait," Nena ran up to them. "You're not ready!"

Ray-Ray jumped between her and the rocket, his arms stretched out. "Uh, not safe, not a toy," he said, eyeing Nena uncertainly.

Giving him an exasperated look, Nena held out a plastic bag she was carrying. "You need this to go up, too!"

Ray-Ray looked into the bag and his face scrunched up in confusion. "A frozen turkey?"


	11. The Surprise Return of Key Evidence

**The Surprise Return of Key Evidence—**

"A turkey?" Don took the bag from Nena.

"Noooo," Nena said. "It's Bonnie!"

"Who?" Don said, then remembered the doll that Nena had decapitated. That thing in the bag _could_ be a doll's body covered in aluminum foil. He lifted it out. "Why the foil?"

"It's her space suit!" Nena explained and continued, "Bonnie's head is all floating around in space and she can look but can't do anything! She needs her body!"

Don turned to glare at Colby and Charlie, who were trying to look unaware of what Nena had been up to. Don made a mental note to deal with them later then turned back towards Ray-Ray.

Ray-Ray was eyeing the doll's body uneasily. Don had to admit that it did look pretty bizarre, if you didn't know the back-story.

"Give us a second?" Don asked Nena.

Nena nodded and went back to her smirking daddies.

Don focused on Ray-Ray. "Look, I know this is really strange, but is there any way you could attach this thing to your rocket? It would mean a lot to Nena and I'd owe you huge."

Grimacing, Ray-Ray took the doll from Don's hands. "It's lighter than I expected …" he said slowly, adjusting the arms and legs with loud crinkles.

"Consider it an engineering challenge," Don urged.

"I suppose if I …" Ray-ray frowned thoughtfully. "If I do this, you'll convince your Dad to do that furnace upgrade?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay," Ray-ray said. "Now, I need some tape …"

* * *

A half-an-hour later, the sleek rocket had grown a large plastic lump. Just above the fins, the plastic bag with the doll inside had been wrapped around the cylinder and taped securely.

"No one better tell the NAR," Ray-Ray mumbled, then turned to Nena. "Young lady, would you like to do the honors?"


	12. The Investigation Reaches Its Climax

**The Investigation Reaches Its Climax—**

In spite of Ray-Ray's offer, Nena didn't end up getting to launch the rocket. Ray-Ray decided, with the rocket's surprise passenger, he couldn't be absolutely sure of the stability and told everyone to move an extra distance away. He connected something to the rocket base then unrolled a long set of wires. At the end of the wires was a switch box of some sort. Don put his hand on Nena's shoulder, both in apology that she couldn't launch the rocket and to make sure she didn't decide to get any closer.

Looking behind him at his eager audience, Ray-Ray grinned, looking like a small child about to show off his really cool toy. He turned back towards the rocket and shouted a countdown.

"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Zero!"

At zero, Ray-Ray hit the Go switch.

There was a brief hush then the blue and yellow rocket burst into life, rising from the launch rig.

It was quieter than Don expected, and the rocket shot smoothly into the air, trailing white smoke. A cheer went up around him.

Don watched it rise into the bright sky. He squinted, his eyes watering, as he tried to follow its path.

Voices chattered around him.

"Ooh!"

"There it goes!"

"Wow!"

"Cool!"

"Quite remarkable!"

"I've got goose bumps!"

"C'mon, go, go!"

"Wow, do you have FAA clearance?"

"How high is it gonna go?"

"Just what's the horsepower on that thing?"

"How do you calculate the thrust ratio?"

"Look at her go! That doll didn't make her wobble one bit!"

"I can't find it!"

"It's right there!"

"No, that's a bird."

"But it's blue!"

"You should add a second stage motor."

"When does it reach apex?"

"Is it turning?"

"Where is it?"

"Oh no," Nena shrieked. "It's gonna crash!"


	13. The Investigator Closes the Case

**The Investigator Closes the Case –**

"It's not crashing," Don assured Nena. "The rocket has done its job and is coming back. So we can reuse it."

"But it'll crash!"

"No, I'm sure there's …" Don eyed the falling rocket. Surely Ray-Ray wouldn't let his 'beauty' crash land?

"Look!" Don said. "A parachute!"

"Oh!" Nena clapped as the white cloth billowed out and caught air. The rocket's descent slowed abruptly.

Don said, "Stay here. There might be falling parts."

Ignoring Nena's protest as well as Ray-Ray's indignant response that there wouldn't be anything 'falling' from his rocket, Don ran in the direction he thought the rocket would land. He needed to get to the doll's body and hide it, so that Nena could believe that Bonnie's body had joined her head in space. Don knew he was skating close to that line between letting Nena use her imagination and actually lying to her, but he couldn't forget the adoration on her face when she'd thought he'd launched Bonnie's head into space. If this didn't work, Don didn't think that even Larry had enough friends at NASA to get that doll aboard the shuttle.

Don ran across the airfield and was able to easily spot where the rocket came down. He got to the rocket and pulled the chute aside, to see that the plastic bag had ripped open. Don quickly looked around. The foil-wrapped doll body had to be easy to spot in this short grass.

When Ray-Ray arrived to claim and coo over his rocket, Don was still looking. The rest of the group came too and soon joined the search, Charlie and Larry debating trajectories and impact patterns.

Yet ... it was nowhere to be found.

Nena cheered in triumph.

Don sat back on his heels and looked thoughtfully up at the sky.


	14. The Addendum to the Case File

**The Addendum to the Case File –**

A few months after the launch, Colby, Charlie and Nena were gardening when Bonnie returned. To be more specific, Colby was digging holes, Nena was separating starter flower plants, and Charlie was talking about the mathematics of plant propagation, when the next-door neighbor's dog came lumbering across the lawn, Bonnie's battered head hanging from his jaws.

"Bonnie!" Nena cried, dropping the plants and running to the dog.

Charlie and Colby shared a look, uncertain how Nena would interpret this.

"Koota, drop!" Nena commanded.

The Rottweiler dropped his prize and looked guilty. Nena patted him while examining the muddy, scratched, and tooth-marked head.

"She musta had a tough re-entry," Nena commented.

Colby held back a smile. "No parachute."

"Lucky she didn't burn up," Charlie added.

"Yeah," Nena said solemnly. "I wonder where her body is?"

Colby said, "Perhaps it got separated again?"

"Naw, it stayed to help build the space station."

Trying to smother a laugh, Colby said, "They needed an extra pair of hands?"

"And feet?" Charlie added and they both broke up laughing.

Nena glared at them then said airily, "Bonnie and me have some catching up to do."

"Give her a bath!" Colby called as she went into the house.

"So, Professor," Colby said. "Think you could get your hands dirty and help me with these flowers?"

"Sure." Charlie knelt next to the abandoned plants. "What clustering algorithm should I use to divide them, agglomerative or partitional?"

* * *

So ends the Curious Case of the Severed Head.

Bonnie's head took up residence on Nena's headboard, where she claimed it would whisper to her as she was falling asleep, stories of traveling among the stars.

The investigator closed the file, but remained vigilant. None could predict where, when, or in what mystifying way that the diminutive culprit would strike again.


End file.
